Face of Depression

For me right now blogging is like everything else in my life.  I have full intentions to dedicate myself to it but then life happens and it is put to the side.  I am working on consistency with tasks I put myself up for but I’m not perfect and sometimes shit hits the fan in many areas of my life and tasks have to be prioritized and some tasks are put to the back burner.

But today I had a realization as it relates to my choice of putting blogging on the back burner.  The point of this blog is to highlight all areas of our life including the highest of highs and lowest of lows.  I want this to be real and relatable.  I want to share how we are designing our lives, how things are changing and that comes from experiences and reacting to life events.  I don’t want this to just be a platform of selective topics making our life look much easier than it really is.   We live in a world right now where we can hid the “flaws” and the “ugliness” behind social media and share all of the “perfections” of our lives and I don’t want this to be another one of “those stories”.

So where did this come from.  Today a couple of signs came my way.  The first was an an article on Providr that came up in my Facebook newsfeed as I was scrolling on lunch.  The article was written yesterday by Erin McDonagh titled “20 Photos That Show Us The ‘Real’ Face of Depression”.  I was drawn to it by the images and thought “That is me”.  I am a face of depression.  I went through my phone and found two images from January of this year that were a day a part from each other:


I remember this day vividly.  Derek was busy, depression hit me like a brick wall unexpectedly as it always does.  I didn’t want to burden him so I “hid” in our guest bedroom for what seemed to be an eternity.  He had to peel me from the bed and force me to get up.  In all honesty, until now and me sharing this, Derek is the only one who I allow to see me like this.  Thank goodness for his patience because he has saved me in so many ways by allowing me and encouraging me to take action every day to save myself.

Now these days, like the one pictured above, are far and few between but it is still something I have to work consciously on day in and day out to limit.  I am aware of what I need to include in my daily routines in order to control my depression and anxiety.  I’m not sure if it will ever go away nor am I sure I want it to.  I’ve learned to embrace the challenges that have gotten me here and tackle every day as an opportunity to grow.

I plan to share in future blogs what I have determined as constants in my routine to limit days where I am bedridden with depression but for now I’ll end on my second sign that pushed me to go to yoga today and surrender myself to my mat and let go of everything that I was holding on my shoulders for today.  It is from my desk calendar quoting the book You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

How to surrender:

  1. Get crystal clear on what you desire to manifest.
  2. See it, feel it, taste it, fall in love with it, believe it is already here
  3. Decide you will have it.
  4. Inform The Universe of your intention by behaving and thinking as if you already have it.
  5. Meditate, connect with infinite possible, your intuition and Source Energy.
  6. Take hell-bent, joyful, passion-fueled actions.
  7. Be grateful that it’s yours, that it’s already here.
  8. Breathe, let it go, let it in.

When you believe that everything you desire already exists, you are in a natural state of surrender.

Until my next blog post.  Be real, be relatable and surrender yourself to what is and what will be.

Comments (1):

  1. shirley miller

    May 31, 2018 at 3:51 am

    so well said , this about sums up my life and not many know it either besides for my husband . I am so glad you are fighting the good fight. I too am doing better every day ! You have an awesome way of putting your words together. Thank you for sharing and kudos to better days!


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